Wednesday, April 29, 2009

She Ain't ALL Bad ( Going Green )

Okay, Okay so I have been giving Oprah a hard time lately. Her shows aren't all bad though. Yesterday she had one that was pretty interesting. It was a woman who had cut herself cooking and didn't know she had a flesh eaten bacteria on her hand that got in the cut and ultimately in 60 hours almost took her life. It was so bad that while she was open on the operating table, the surgeons culd actually watch it spreading from her arm to her right breast. They had to cut her right arm off along with her right breast and a bunch of muscle and skin tissue. The skin across her body where the scar is so thin in parts that often the bone breaks through the skin and bleeds! YUCK! It was so awful looking. You had to feel sorry for this woman. Something that Dr. Ooz ( whom I happen to just adore ) touch on for a minute was very important stuff that I feel like he should have gone further into but didn't.

Our bodies have bacteria but guess what folks? THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO! There is good bacteria and bad bacteria. One of the things that is so severely wrong with some of the products that we use every day is that it is all anti-bacterial. You see the word anti-bacterial and think, "Oh good it kills bacteria!" You would be right! It DOES kill bacteria, even the GOOD kind. The problem with this is that if it is killing 99.9% of bacteria ( which means the good and the bad ) you aren't left with any good kind and you can catch the bad bacteria even easier. Do you understand what that means? Half of our cleaning products now a days say anti-bacterial on them. Soap, cleaning wipes, and most people carry around anti-bacterial gel in their purses to clean their hands after eaten or getting dirty. This is not a bad thing if done every once in a while but most people who use it use it on a daily basis. Most use it multiple times a day. That means you are killing ALL the bacteria many times a day. This is bad. I used to use cleaning wipes for my kitchen that were anti-bacterial until I learned this. They said that they killed the flu virus and 99.9% of all bacteria which I thought sounded like a good thing. That is how they get you to buy it. DON'T do this people. Wash your hands with soap that does NOT have the anti-bacterial ( if you can even find some because it is almost impossible! ) soap. Use cleaning products that do not have this in them. Clorox makes cleaning wipes now for kitchens and bathrooms and what not that are biodegradable and are not antibacterial. They are the green kind. I have heard some stories recently ( thanks to Cody ) that the Clorox brand of green products aren't as green as they say they are because of some of the chemicals they put in their products. Even with this bit of information thrown at me I told Cody, "The wipes I use are still biodegradable which helps!" Living green is hard if you don't have lots of money but there are so many products out there to help us now that it is becoming less and less expensive for us to do.

We were at SAMS Club on Saturday and they had green bags 2 for $2.50. I decided to buy two and once I got them home and opened them up, I wish I had bought one or two more bundles of them because they were HUGE and seemed very sturdy. This is one of the things I am doing to try and change the world. Unfortunately there are so many more things that need to be done but I am trying. Also I started recycling card board and plastic which is a great help.

Something else I learned from Oprah that was a BIG shock to me? I watched her Earth Day show ( which wasn't nearly as good as last years but still interesting ) and I learned that they have recently found a certain type of Whale that has started to develop breast cancer!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP! SERIOUSLY! This is why going green is so inportant! All the CRAP we use in our products like PBA in bottles and the things we use in lotions and shampoos and what not that gets washed into our oceans are effecting our animals! This is no joke people. All those out there who say going green won't effect the Earth now are crazy! Whales getting breast cancer is concern enough for me to be taking things more seriously. I am on a mission to try and get parabens out of my products since this is something that they feel is linked to breast cancer. I encourage everyone who reads this to think about what we put on our bodies and into our water supplies. That is all for now...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Explain please

I will NEVER, ever understand why people smoke while pregnant! Maybe I need a smoker to explain it to me but it just doesn't make sense. We have a neighbor who has a 8 month to 1 year old. Not sure exactly how old she is. We don't talk to them and they haven't lived there long. The mom is fairly skinny and I notice she has a pretty visible baby bump. First of all, I could never have babies THAT close together. Secondly, the next day I noticed she was smoking on the front porch! What is wrong with people?! One time there was a Walmart employee outside of Walmart, with her uniform still on and everything and was VERY pregnant, standing outside smoking. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I am not even sure what else to write about this but I had to get it off of my chest. I just don't understand. And I certainly wouldn't be smoking in a public place if I were pregnant because I would have been SOOOO embarrassed that I was such a selfish person who couldn't control my habit enough to not do it for 9 months.

Babies are such precious gifts. Why even CHANCE it? Is it that worth it and why do it if it can kill you as well? I don't understand it. I know plenty of people who smoke and I think it's disgusting. One time I had to kiss someone in a play I was in and he was a smoker. It was awful! He tasted of it ever time and I dreaded doing the scene with him because I felt like I was putting my mouth in an ash try. But who cares if a grown up decides to smoke? What pisses me off is that a grown up is deciding for the infant. The poor infant doesn't even have a choice. The infant gets to be born addicted to nicotine! Bastards!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Let's Talk About Sex

WOW! I just started the “Having the Talk” Oprah show and just 4 minutes into it I had to pause it so I could write the things that were going through my mind and making my blood boil. First off, Doctor Laura whatever her name is seems to be basing her information off of people who come to her for help. HELLO! Of course they are going to have sex issues, she is a SEX THERAPIST! She claims that if women talk to their daughter s about self stimulation and owning their own bodies they are less likely to give up their virginity to the first guy who makes them feel good. OKAY, I do not even know where to start with how wrong that statement is. My mind is swirling thinking about all the things that I was taught growing up. Let me just hold off on what I have to say for one more minute. Dr Laura also said that so many women who come to her with problems about not enjoying sex and finding out how to orgasm were not taught about self stimulation and that’s what led to the problem in the first place. It was also implied that it was old fashioned to not teach our kids about masturbation. Oh come on!

Here we go, whatever happened to teaching our kids about RESPECTING their bodies! I was taught that my body is a Temple and we shouldn’t defile it. I was taught that sex was supposed to be between a husband and wife. I was also taught that self stimulation was not appropriate. Guess what folks? I was a virgin when I got married! I also have no problem finding pleasure in sex and I am not embarrassed by sex and can talk about it freely. Was it hard to not give in to the temptation that sex before marriage brought? Heck yes, but I respected myself enough and respected my future husband enough to not give in. Dr. Laura’s reasoning behind the self stimulation was that if we did so and knew what pleasure felt like and how to do it for ourselves; we would be less likely to give it up to the first guy who made us feel good. Um, I COMPLETELY disagree with this statement. I feel as though, if you self stimulate and get used to that feeling, you are MORE likely to want to feel it again and give it up to someone and regret it Also that you are more likely to let them do it because it no longer feels like a big deal or feels like you are doing something that is wrong.

I understand that many will disagree with what I am saying. That’s fine. I am not saying that what I believe is for everyone but I just hate when people, especially on TV or famous people who have such a strong influence on kids lives, make a generalization such as Dr. Laura did. She made a statement, which was more of an opinion really, and made it sound like medical facts. That irritates me. So I am just trying to express my opinion on it. So again, why not teach our kids MORALS and not self stimulation? What is so wrong with MORALS these days? It seems there is a HUGE war going on between what people call morals, and old fashioned ways. I am sorry, but waiting until you get married to have sex isn’t old fashioned, it’s MORAL. That is what is wrong with our world today! No body teaches morals any more and the ones that do are called old fashioned and made fun of. I love my husband SOOOOOOOOOOO freaking much and I LOVE having sex with him. Growing up hearing that sex before marriage was wrong, had absolutely no impact on MY sex life or me being able to enjoy it. In fact, I believe that it make sex that much more special for me and my husband knowing we were the only ones who got to experience that with each other. I do NOT regret it in the least bit and feel like my husband and I have a stronger connection because of it.

I have lots more to say but for now I will start with the second part of this particular subject. Oprah had two 14 year old kids on her show who said they loved each other and were ready to have sex. FOURTEEN PEOPLE! On top of that they said they had been dating for a while which turned out to be THREE MONTHS! One of my shortest relationships was 3 months. Also, they said they had already done everything but have sex. Oh my gosh. When I was 14 I was barely going to church dances and I had my first kiss. It astounds me that at 14 years old they think they are ready for sex and had already done everything but have sex. Now here is where I have to give Dr.Laura some props because she asked the kids and I find it highly ironic that I call them kids without even thinking about it and they think they are ready for such a big step, but she asked them some very important questions. I felt so sorry for the 14 year old girl who was obviously upset at the end of the show as she wiped some tears from off of her face while smiling and trying to pretend like everything was okay. And she thought she was ready for sex?!?! Sex is such an emotional thing to go through and especially having it for the first time. For those who did not see the show the kids ( there is that term again haha ) were asked if they thought about what happens if they get pregnant. The girl said she didn’t want to think about it. Hmmmmmmmmmmm…..then they were asked how long they planned on staying together AFTER they had sex. This is where it gets interesting. The boy said, “I don’t know, 6 months?” The audience started laughing ( nervous laughter if you ask me ) and then he looked at them and said, “What do you expect, it’s high school?” WOW! If you ask me, I think that is where the girl lost interest. She had a romantic picture in her head about being with him forever and having sex with him being special and how she couldn’t get pregnant because it just wouldn’t happen to her. I honestly suspect a huge fight and break up after the show.

Another thing that got me was that the mom’s were on the show too and were against them having sex but yet one of the mom’s bought them condoms. She said she was afraid that they would do it any ways so she wanted them to be protected. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. First of all, teach them about being moral and abstaining from sex all together. Secondly, 14 year old KIDS shouldn’t have the opportunity to have sex! I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16 and even then it was supposed to be double dates only. How were 14 year old kids able to do “everything but” have sex in the first place. Maybe if they had some adult supervision they wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place.

Honestly I could go on and on but I think I will stop while I’m ahead. Really all I wanted to get across with this was that I was taught sex was sacred and to do it before we were married was wrong. NOT SEX ITSELF WAS WRONG. I think that’s the big thing to remember. Also I was taught that self stimulation was not appropriate and guess what? I was still able to keep my pants on and my legs closed even when some guy made me feel good about myself. I understood where the line was and was able to not cross it. I was a horny girl too, so if I could do it ANY ONE can! Haha Haven’t you heard about those sex-crazy red heads? Well, I am one of them! So teach your kids MORALS and pray they follow them. That’s all folks…

PS if you had sex before you were married I am not saying you are immoral, I am simple stating what I learned and how I grew up and I am just trying


That's F-A-T NOT to be confused with P-H-A-T which if you don't know what that stands for just don't' even bother reading the rest of this because you just aren't going to understand me and what I write here, or you're like 80 years old. I wanted to write about FAT. I hate that being fat, or getting fat is such a big deal. I hate that it makes people view you differently. I hate that it makes YOU view people differently or view yourself differently. I hate a lot of things about gaining weight but at the same time am truly grateful because both of my weight gains have been reactions to having my kids! I would gain 100 pounds if it meant having these two beauties. You know that is not entirely fair either blaming it on them. With Tyler, I ate super crappy and then after he was born, kept eating super crappy. How is that his fault right? I was up to 190 when I came home from the hospital after having him. I stayed that until about June of that summer when I stopped breast feeding and all HELL broke loose! We went to Hawaii for a month and I was walking everyday but I was also eating out everyday which was awful on my body. You supposedly burn more calories while breast feeding and I didn't notice a difference, that was until after I stopped and all of the sudden gain 10 pounds in a couple of weeks. I went to my brothers wedding in California and I was 200 pounds when I stepped onto my sister Kim's scale while staying at her house. I was shocked and disgusted with how heavy it said I was. I had never been that big before.

What was worse then having the scale tell you how big you are was the pictures! It was a wedding for crying out loud and on top of the fact that I look HUGE in all the pictures, my hair was grown out for a hair cut and looked AWFUL! Myra cut my hair 2 days after the wedding and it looked so cute. How I wish I could have gotten the hair cut BEFORE the wedding...Any ways. Straying off topic now. I do that often. When I got back from the wedding I started working out and trying really hard to eat better. 6 weeks after that I came down to Cali again for Jared and Amanda's wedding and weighted about 185 or 190! I was so happy to have lost those 10 pounds or so and you could see it in my face which is one of the things I hate about getting fat. That and how big my arms get...holy heck I hate how big my arms look in clothes! You already know about the boobs since my previous post was about that so I will just mention it. My sister Kristy says that the first place she loses weight is her boobs! I haven't found that to be true for me yet, honestly it seems to me that when I get "lighter" it hasn't come off from any where because I usually seem the same, my clothes usually fit slightly better though so I guess for that I should be grateful.

My wardrobe has to be one of the most depressing things about gaining weight. I really wanted to fit into my pants a couple of weeks after having Kayla and that just didn't happen. I even bought a pair of jeans after being home from the hospital a week and a week later they were already fitting me tighter. How fair is that? Okay well, really it was fair. I started eating crappy again and it has taken me SO long to get out of the habit of eating two dinners. I just BARELY started eating a snack instead of eating a small meal after I put Tyler to bed.

I have always been bigger. If you knew me when I was younger you would probably think I was crazy saying that, but I was. Even when I was "skinny" the smallest size I could ever squeeze my big butt into was an 8 and even that was only for about a year. I weight about 140 all of high school and then it went up to about 150 or so in college. When I married Cody I think it was about 155 and after about a year of married life, i was about 165 or 170. That's when I got pregnant.

Now I am going to admit my weight on here which is NOT easy for me to do. I currently weight about 212 or so...I was about 233 when I had Kayla is I am lighter just not as much as I wanted to be. I am starting to "diet" which is such a stupid word. What does it even mean. Really I think what we should say is I am trying to eat better, which I am. You say the word diet and it's like our brain freaks out and starts telling your stomach you are hungry even when you are not. This week I have managed to lose a little weight. Let me tell you how I have managed this because really they were simple changes that you need to stick too when you first start trying to lose weight. One, I eat breakfast. I found a fiber one cereal that I actually like that has 13 grams of fiber in one bowl of cereal. For those who don't know much about fiber, the theory behind it is that it is supposed to keep you full for longer. Also, the average woman should have 25 grams of fiber every day and most only get about 11! So we need to watch what we are eating and try hard to get that extra fiber in our diets. This cereal is a great way to get started. It is the Fiber One Honey Cluster cereal. SO YUMMY! Next, if you are addicted to soda like I am switch to diet. BUT also you may want to try and find something else entirely. I bought a Britta water pitcher and have been filling it up a couple of times a day. Then I bought my reusable water bottle which is made from aluminum and I fill it with water and then add a flavor to it. I started buying Fiber One water mix and the flavor is cherry pomegranate which was a little strange the first couple of sips but by the end I was loving it. I drink this when I am thirsty and it is helping a lot. I also buy weight watchers meals from the store. They are about 3 dollars or so and most are very yummy. My favorites are the ziti, turkey and mashed potatoes, enchiladas and the white sauce pasta with chicken and broccoli. MMMMMMMMMMM If you don't like cereal, try eating oatmeal because it is really good for you.

So this is what I have been doing. Fiber one for breakfast, a small lunch and a soda, then fruit, yogurt or string cheese for a snack with fiber water, and a smart ones ( weight watchers meal ) for dinner. Then when I get hungry after Tyler goes to sleep, I make a bag of 100 calorie pop corn and drink more fiber water. I haven't been able to work out because I am still coughing and snotty from my cold last week but I am sure once I start doing that it will help tremendously.

I think the main thing is to not get overwhelmed, not to think about it being a diet, and to not starve yourself. My tummy is already visibly smaller and almost makes me want to look at myself naked again! haha Because after Kayla, I have NOT been liking taking my clothes off.

Sorry this still wasn't about the Oprah sex talk show. It has been long enough now that I am going to watch it again to remember what was said and what I wanted to say about it. Hopefully tonight I can do that. I wanted to do it now while Tyler was taking his nap but so far today, he hasn't fallen asleep and its been a little over an hour so I don't think it's in the cards for me for today. I promise it will come eventually though. hopefully this post wasn't too boring for ya and hopefully someone got some good ideas if anything.

Until next time......

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Okay so I know I promised a blog about the Oprah show on sex the other day BUT I decided to write a different one first. Yesterday I was wearing a bra and a sports bra and my boobs looked huge!!! I wrote a blog on my myspace page about 9 or 10 months ago about how I was so depressed about buying my first D bra. I wrote about how I started out with B cups and wished they were C's. I think most teenagers with smaller sized breast wish they were bigger. I would wear a push up bra pretty much every day. If it wasn't a push up bra, it was a padded bra. One time I even bought a water bra to help me fit into a brides maid dress for a friends wedding. We all joked that I coudl keep us alive if we got stranded in the desert.

Once I got married, I gained some weight. My boobs grew and I was finally a C cup. Didn't matter a whole lot at this point since I was married any ways but Cody sure enjoyed the extra bit! Then I had Tyler, gained about 20 pounds and was a FULL C ( and probably could have gone into a D but never tried! ) Then I got pregnant with Kayla and I swear my boobs grew over night. They were no longer fitting into my C bra but were in fact spilling out of it if I moved AT ALL. I got to Utah and bought my first D bra. I was way depressed about it and in fact, so was Cody because he was missing it! haha He was in Iraq and only got to see quick glimspes of them as I would flash him occasionally over the web cam when Tyler wasn't looking! In fact one time Tyler turned around as I was pulling my shirt back down over my stomach and he came over and lifted my shirt up and blew on my tummy. Good times.

I figured once Kayla was born I would have to buy a DD bra and the thought of this practically brought tears to my eyes. I went to buy a nursing bra before I gave birth and I had to buy a 40E!!! In my defense though, they didn't have DD's. It went from D to E to F. I had Kayla and my breast milk came in and Cody and I couldn't believe how HUGE they got. Kayla did NOT cooperate in the breast milk department. After 2 weeks of trying really hard to get her to latch on ( or even drink it from a bottle for that matter ) I gave up. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that my breast milk was basically full of iorn pills, stool softner anmd viccodin. I felt really guilty at first since Tyler got breast feed and she didn't, but I have since let the guilt go and have felt fine about the decision. She seems healthy and thats the most important right?! I figured my boobs would go back down to D's and I was only partly right. They are D's alright but I am pretty sure I would fill out a DD bra fairly easy. I haven't dared go bra shopping altough I need to. I own two right now that I can manage to get on. At night when I take my bra off my boobs are usually killing me. I know most women deal with these things. It's so annoying. Men get off so easy. Women have to go through menopause, pregnancy, delivery, mootherhood, periods and losing their virginity. Yeah I know men lose their virginity but it isn't the same physically. Which leads me to the blog I was saying I would write but I don't have time now. I will just close this blog with this. I will never get over how our bodies change over time. My body looks so different after having Kayla. My boobs weren't even the biggest change but for some reason that's the area my brain likes to focus on. I think because I can see them when looking any where. Okay I take that back...When looking up, i DO NOT see them! haha Another reason for having breast on my mind...probably because Cody likes to remind me how big they are every time he sees them. :) I catch him staring at them all the time. It actually makes me feel better about them if that makes any sense. It makes me feel sexy, even if sometimes having big boobs makes me feel fat. Isn't that weird....naked, it makes me feel fat. Clothed I feel sexy... go figured.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Here it is folks

I like to write. Since having kids, my journal has become more of a journal of what they say and do instead of what I say and do and how I feel. I started a blog but made it a family one where I started out posting blogs with real sentences and themes and have since let it fall second to the pictures I like to post. Recently I was going through some old blogs from my myspace page and was kind of sad that I can no longer write anything interesting ( it seems ). I used to love to write. In fact, I used to write poetry a lot and thought I was pretty good at it. Now if I try and write a poem I just sit in front of a piece of paper and just stare at it. I figure maybe if I try and write more for me, I can find how to write again. More then just sentences describing the picture I posted and what we ate for dinner. I will warn you that if you choose to read along with whatever random things I choose to write here, I am going to be writing some things that are not family friendly. You know, things that trick me off or things that I think need to be said that may not be appropriate for a "family" blog like the one I currently have. For instance, I have a blog in my head that I will write sometime this week about another Oprah that pissed me. It was about teaching your kids about sex and how the sex therapist on the show told mothers they need to teach their daughters about masterbation....Um,'ll hear what I think about that soon. For now, I have the week to myself. I just took Cody to the air port and he will be back Friday. I am also hoping this gives me some free time to start this blog! WOO HOO yeah for blogs
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